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Don't Look at These Decorations

We all have them. Here's a collection of the tree decorations we don't want you to see.

One of my favorite parts about the holiday season is when my family takes a break from their busy schedule and helps decorate the family tree. In the past we used to have this really big, 10-foot tree in our living room and it would take hours to decorate the entire thing. The best part was always going through all of our different tree ornaments, i.e. the funny pictures of our younger selves, the hallmark ornaments, and the handmade ones we made at christmas parties.

This holiday season, I asked some of my friends what their favorite tree decorations were in another “Dear Abby” column style.

*Note I changed all names with my favorite shapes. 

Question: What is your most interesting tree decoration? 

The Golden Child

"I have an ornament that I got a while ago, and it's like a clay picture thing of my family and me. It's my favorite because it was made before my brother was born :)"

-Dodecahedron

Ashley
Dec, 2020

I cannot relate to this statement given that I am the golden youngest child of my family. I actually sympathize more with your brother. It’s truly hard being the best. 

KPOP in King (or Queen)

"This is my KPOP star with Twice and BTS. Look how happy and cute they are. Their happiness is my happiness. :)"

-Square

Ashley
Dec, 2020

Y'know I won't judge...whatever floats your boat, my friend. If it makes you happy and it's not harming anyone else, you do you.

Like Me, The Tree is Perfect

"I don't really have anything, but like me, my tree is perfect. I think my dad made this at a party years ago, though. I think it's pretty"

-Rectangle

Ashley
Dec, 2020

All I asked for was an exciting ornament with a cool background... and you gave me this. It is better than nothing, a quality participation badge.

The Best One So Far

"I got this broken Rudolph ornament craft...and it's better this way, like some minimalistic art piece of emo Rudolph."

-Trapezoid

Ashley
Dec, 2020

Now, this is the top quality content that I am here to comment on. The antlers, the log, the eyes...absolutely breathtaking. Now, this is a true representation of modern art, and I think it says a lot about our society and that we live in one.

KPOP is King, Part II

"I have 7 BTS ornaments that I printed and cut out, and I randomly placed them on the tree because when I see them, they make me laugh."

-Triangle

Ashley
Dec, 2020

I respect your dedication. This is the season to be happy, so do whatever makes you happy :) No matter how odd or insane it may seem...

JOHN TRAVOLTA

"Basically at the Oscars Idiina Menzel was going up to sing let it go from Frozen and John Travolta was introducing her but he mispronounced her name and said "Adele Dazeem" instead of Indina Menzel and it's so funny. We had a blank ornament, so we cut out his picture and put it in."

-Line

Ashley
Dec, 2020

One best thing about ornaments is that we can materialistically appreciate the essential things in our lives, and I'm glad to see that you have done the same. I commend you for memorializing this great moment in history.

Cool Festive Pickle

"This one is a pickle, and it says 'Made in Germany,' but we really got it at Epcot Germany."

-Circle

Ashley
Dec, 2020

Cool festive pickle.


RIP

"I have this musubi with googly eyes that a family friend gave to me. Unfortunately, it is no longer in circulation because we gave it to the cats to play with."

-Rhombus

Ashley
Dec, 2020

Glad to hear that you show the utmost respect for the gifts people put time and thought into, my friend...

I Said Please Submit Your Favorites

"My mom bought me this tamago at a summer boutique. I don't actually have any feelings towards it..it just kinda exists in my life."

-Oval

Ashley
Dec, 2020

I feel that we all have these kinds of things in our life. Albeit people or objects, they simply exist, and that's alright. They vibin.

Bob

"I have this pink flamingo with the name "Margaret Bob" taped on with scotch tape. I got it as a gift from a couple of my basketball teammates. Margaret Bob was my altar ego on that team. I'm not really sure where the name even originates from, but it was a definite thing."

-Cone

Ashley
Dec, 2020

Why was the "Bob" trend a thing? Even on my basketball team, we did the same thing! I guess that's just another mystery of the 2000s...

Shutterstock

"On my tree, there's a picture frame ornament of a dog. My family's never had a dog, but it's hung on our tree every year. My mom says it's the deceased dog of our family friend, and the dog's name was Benji. My dad said that it was HIS cousin's dog and is named Churchill. I don't really know how this black lab has become part of our yearly Christmas traditions. I've never confronted my parents about their stories, and I don't know if I ever will…"

-Hexagon

Ashley
Dec, 2020

I have no words but...why? I'll bet that ornament is 100% just a stock image, and neither parent remembers buying it. Pretty wild, I've gotta say.

--------------------

The way we decorate our trees has a direct relationship with our own personal lives. In the end, it is our own (or family's) choice to put up whatever we so choose. The holiday season is a time for us to show our appreciation to those we are closest with, so no matter who or what you are, just live your life how you want to :) Because I don't care.

In the grand scheme of things, these small objects that we use to decorate our homes during the holiday season won't mean much. However, they are able to carry on our own memories and opportunities.

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Article featured in this issue:
Home for the Holidays
December 26, 2020

Our title takes on a more literal meaning for this year's holiday season. Since you're at home anyway, we've got everything from KFC in Japan to good luck charms for the new year. Happy holidays!

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