Finding Love Advice at a Japanese Confectionary Shop

Like the varieties of manju at a Japanese confectionary shop, there are countless qualities out there that we look for in a potential partner. But which ones matter the most?

Sometimes the hard part is knowing what flavor of manju you want.

A Japanese mochi and manju confectionary shop, let’s say Fugetsu-do in Little Tokyo or Sakuraya in Gardena, will have a countless assortment of treats, all prepared completely differently and differing in ingredients.

With the large variety of colors, flavors, and textures, I’m often torn with having to choose just one, let alone a couple. Sakura mochi is my favorite, but it’s only available for maybe two months. The fresh strawberry that makes the ichigo daifuku really does set itself apart and tricks us into thinking that we’re eating something healthy. The baked kuri manju is such a timeless classic, it’s hard to pass.

Similar to manju or mochi, we have preferences in the qualities that we look for in a significant other. Whether they be personality traits, interests, or physical attributes, we rank them in levels of importance.

Choose wisely...

In this activity, we’re going to select from a list of qualities that a potential significant other may have that will catch your interest. These may be things that we value dearly, perks that are always a bonus, or simply things that we may not have considered.

From the list below, select 10 qualities that you are you looking for in another person. They may be extensions of your values, qualities that you admire, or are simply silly ones.

From that list, select your top five and then your top three.

Lastly, select the most important quality that you look for in another person. For me, the sakura mochi is kindness, the value that I find most important in a person.

The purpose of this exercise is to think about the qualities that we believe to be of most importance but ultimately may not be deal breakers. We become so focused on the qualities that we are looking for, they become barriers to the others that we may not have given much thought. Maybe confidence is something that we want in another person but like the daifuku mochi, we forget to add it in the variety box of 10.

Article featured in this issue:
July 2020

Sports Astrology

What sport are you?

Discover Now

There's More This Issue

Greek Life & Dating in the 1970s: A Sansei Perspective

For many Sansei who grew up and attended college in Southern California at universities like UCLA and USC, Asian fraternities and sororities were the best way to meet and intermingle.

Read More >>

A Penny For Your (Dating) Thoughts

Are there things you'd tell your 25-year-old-self navigating through the world of dating? Curious to know my thoughts on some commonly asked dating questions?

Read More >>

Finding Love Advice at a Japanese Confectionary Shop

Like the varieties of manju at a Japanese confectionary shop, there are countless qualities out there that we look for in a potential partner. But which ones matter the most?

Read More >>

Coming Out, Coming Home

Stan Yogi, co-chair of Okaeri, a group and conference for LGBTQ+ Nikkei, shares his story of coming to terms with his identities as a gay, Japanese American man.

Read More >>

Normalizing Self-Love: An Interview with Sex Toy Company Co-Founder Anna Lee

We're talking about self-love as it relates to sexual health. What is a smart vibrator? How does it work? We break it all down for you in our interview with Lioness co-founder Anna Lee.

Read More >>

8 Tips for a Quarantine Wedding

Wedding planning can be stressful. Throw a pandemic in the mix and it seems almost impossible! We've created a short list of tips for folks planning a quarantine-friendly wedding.

Read More >>

For My Love of Foamy Soda, Onigiri, and Baked Goods

One baker reflects on her early food memories and how making food has proven to be a trusted form of self-love as an adult.

Read More >>

Dear Craig: The Best Ways to Flirt at a Summer Festival

With games, food, and friends all together under the summer sky, it's no wonder that the summer festival is an opportune moment where many have expressed (or attempted to express) their affections for that special person.

Read More >>

Missed an Issue?

October 2021
September 2021
August 2021
July 2021
View More Issues