Like the varieties of manju at a Japanese confectionary shop, there are countless qualities out there that we look for in a potential partner. But which ones matter the most?

Sometimes the hard part is knowing what flavor of manju you want.

A Japanese mochi and manju confectionary shop, let’s say Fugetsu-do in Little Tokyo or Sakuraya in Gardena, will have a countless assortment of treats, all prepared completely differently and differing in ingredients.

With the large variety of colors, flavors, and textures, I’m often torn with having to choose just one, let alone a couple. Sakura mochi is my favorite, but it’s only available for maybe two months. The fresh strawberry that makes the ichigo daifuku really does set itself apart and tricks us into thinking that we’re eating something healthy. The baked kuri manju is such a timeless classic, it’s hard to pass.

Similar to manju or mochi, we have preferences in the qualities that we look for in a significant other. Whether they be personality traits, interests, or physical attributes, we rank them in levels of importance.

Choose wisely...

In this activity, we’re going to select from a list of qualities that a potential significant other may have that will catch your interest. These may be things that we value dearly, perks that are always a bonus, or simply things that we may not have considered.

From the list below, select 10 qualities that you are you looking for in another person. They may be extensions of your values, qualities that you admire, or are simply silly ones.

From that list, select your top five and then your top three.

Lastly, select the most important quality that you look for in another person. For me, the sakura mochi is kindness, the value that I find most important in a person.

The purpose of this exercise is to think about the qualities that we believe to be of most importance but ultimately may not be deal breakers. We become so focused on the qualities that we are looking for, they become barriers to the others that we may not have given much thought. Maybe confidence is something that we want in another person but like the daifuku mochi, we forget to add it in the variety box of 10.

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